Probably not worth reading.

I'm going to stop being angry over nothing.
I'm going to sew my mouth closed.
I'm going to clean all day long.
I'm going to get a job
I'm going to stop complaining about the fucked up weather here
I'm going to be patient for Summer
I'm going to be a good friend
I'm going to stop binging after a smoke
I'm going to limit my time on this fucking internet! It's making me crazy! . How can I spend so much time on this internet?!

My dad was talking to me last night. I could be back in Darwin by tomorrow. But, I can't do it. Was talking to my brother - I don't think I want to keep him working for an extra week just to benefit me. Why didn't I wait?! Two weeks more. In the sun. Two weeeks in the fucking sun.

I slept with that boy twice that weekend. Friday and Sunday. I keep thinking about it. Usually, I don't care - I'm over it the next day... And I was - until he came over on Sunday. He messages me quite a bit and added me to Facebook. He only lives about 40minutes away. I think he's staying in Darwin for a while though. Oh god. Is that the only reason why I even want to go back?! I don't know. But, being with him was easy and it wasn't just cos I was smashed. I know I can have someone more attractive and more decent than this guy.. but it's seeming to me that I don't actually want that.
If I wanted someone sweet and caring and aware of my feelings then I'd be with B. But I don't want him. I want someone who is just going to get the job done. No hassle. No feelings. The ol' in/out. Done! ..
Not exactly like that - but it would be nice for a while. Just someone to take charge of the situation instead of going through a list of emotions and shit things before he steps into my bed.
Just get it done and make me feel comfortable about it!

I usually don't say I have a type of boy I like - but I'm gonna say my tastes have changed. I want some waxhead hat wearing type.

The Brazillian - I met up with him last Friday. Um, all I'll say is that it was bad.
He wants to meet up again this weekend - tomorrow at the Good Club but um, I just don't want to. I'm ready for someone new.








Nothing else to really report on except that I'm now most likely in the overweight category. But, it's all cool cos I'll be back down to my lowest weight in no time at all!


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