Shudddup x 2

I'm going to lose at least a kilo and a half in the next 2 days.
I need to!

I'm going for second interview for some bar job. So I need to look decent.
Second interview for a funkin' bar job?? It's ridiculous!

An old boy I used to hang out with is picking me up after it and driving me home cos we'll be in the same area. I haven't talked to/seen him for a long time.
He's not that attractive - but he has the body I'm looking for and the right colouring.
He looks like a male version of this girl. The beautiful Gemma Ward



But a male version. A male version with thicker features. It's just not that nice.


Anyway - I still want to make a good impression on him. And back when we used to hang out, I was at least 4kg lighter.
Awwwkward if I turn up like a fatty.

Time for some action!



____


I'm also feeling very sad.
My baby would have been born in 3 weeks if I didn't have an abortion.
The 1st of April. Good birthday.
I'm starting to regret my decision. Maybe this baby was supposed to be saviour?
To help me stop drinking, stop hurting myself - have something beautiful and mine to care about.
He would have been my lovely little baby that I could wrap up and hold close, that would only feel safe being in my arms and would only want me.
Although - if it went the other way and turned out the baby was a girl - I probably wouldn't have been feeling so happy.
What have I done? ..
That's it - I need to buy a little puppy dog and have him for myself.