I'm the fattest I've ever been. Not fattest. But I'm pretty fricken close. It's gross.
Maybe I'm preggers?
I slept with that kid the other week and who knows what might have happened. He's got like, 7 brothers and sisters which means he's probably as fertile (is that the right word for boys? ha) .. as feeerttile as his bloody parents. I've always thought I was infertile. I've never had the scare of being pregnant and I don't think I've ever used a condom. Gross. I'm clean though, honest haha. Cos I'm not a whore. Anyway, I've probably been impregnated by this boy - which would be horrible. I'll need to have an abortion and all sorts.
So I'm going back to Darwin. My little sister (who, by the way is just absolutely gorgeous! She's such a beautiful girl and she's recently lost weight. She's only 15 but she has better style than me, does her makeup better.. bla bla. I'm a bit jealous, I guess.. and her friend is going to) will be there.. so I'm a bit scared. I don't want to turn up looking all frumpy and gross. But this does mean I have someone to tan with, so I'm glad about that.
I was just in the shower and I was thinking to myself - even though I've had the weight off for about three years now.. it still feels as though I'm still the same weight I was before. I know this all has to do with a self esteem problem or something.. but it doesn't even feel like I've lost weight. It doesn't feel like I used to be overweight, and it doesn't feel like I used to be the skinniest I've ever been.. it just feels blah and like nothing is moving anymore. Which I guess it isn't - probably because I keep gorging myself and I had a Snickers for breakfast.
WHAT THE FUCK!
I'm scared about going back to Darwin. My ex wont be there. My brothers ex wont be there. No one from the hostel that I used to know will be there. We're not in the same camping ground. Nothing will be the same.
But I'm super grateful my big bro and little bro and sis will be there. ... rant rant rant bla bla bla
I always wished I had siblings. Well specifically I wanted an older brother to protect me, but any sibling at all would've made me happy.
ReplyDeleteI've been eating a ton lately too. Dunno what that's all about. Haha.
Well I just wanted to leave you a comment and to tell you good luck :)