Rant For Happiness

I feel so super bloated. My stomach pokes out like I've just swallowed a balloon of air.
It's the baby. I bet I'm further along than I thought.

I'm booked in for an abortion Thursday next week. Ooohh, scary!


I woke up numerous times during the night - feeling as though I couldn't sleep on my stomach. I was having all these strange dreams about how my stomach was so big I couldn't sleep on it anymore. I was worried because my stomach was growing so fast from the pregnancy that I could only sleep on my back.
It might have been because last night me and my mate were joking about it. She was joking that I probably have triplets in there and that I've already retarded them because of all the weed I smoke.. I laughed about it - but maybe that's just cos I was pretty baked when she said it.
I remember also trying to force myself into labour at one point because I already have a little preggers belly.
She said it looks like I'm about 5 months. Fuck.

The babydaddy (well the one I think it is anyway) .. btw, how funny is it when Americans say babydaddy.. anyway, the dad has barely spoken to me. I haven't told him - because I'm not completely sure it's him.. but he's been ignoring my messages and whatever. He messaged me last Friday saying he couldn't stop thinking about me, but then when he came to meet me at the pub - he just walked right past haha. Hmmm.

I'm worried. I want a few days to process how old this baby is before I get the abortion - but unfortunately the abortion is done within the half hour or something of when you get the ultrasound and I'm just too lazy to organise a seperate ultrasound - it's not like I'm keeping the baby anyway.



So, as you'd know - I'm still a fat heffalump. My boobs don't fit any of my bras anymore and my back muscles ache. I've also got a cold - I'm clearly having an AWESOME time at the moment =)