We'd Be So Free - Happy Alone | Sharing A Smile So Far From Home

Foxtel satellite is down.
Has been for an hour

So yesterday, had a massive fight with my mum. She's not talking to me today - well, she is.. but it's just shouting and ranting and saying spiteful, hurtful things. Which I totally deserve because I'm such a fuckup daughter.

The latest insults are at my best friend. Apparently she looks really dirty and is taking all my money. I dunno why she says that shit. We share our money evenly. It works out well. We usually share it when we're in need of weed or a beer but that's okay. Anyway, mum is looking for ways to hurt me, which is fair enough.
I'm a fuckwit and I deserve everything bad she says. When I leave for Darwin - I'm going to give her the address to this blog so she can read it. It might make her understand a bit more but then again, it probably wont. She'll end up just making her own theories again and will probably accuse me of being on hardcore drugs.. which is her main call at me already.

I have a shit sleeping pattern. Sometimes I'll wake up really early, other days I'll sleep in.
If I get up early, then I must be on speed.. which probably wouldn't be that bad anyway. I could probably get shit done that way.. although, speed doesn't even seem to do much for me. The caffiene pills seem to work better if I take enough.

I'm bloated today.
I had a junk day yesterday.
Chocolates, lollies, chips, 4 slices of pizza (they were unusually small slices, but still), chicken wings and lamingtons.
....
I'm wearing a fantastic dress tomorrow night to Good Club. It hides all the shit bits.. except for where my boob has been tanned into a square. Not sure whether that makes sense, but if I move in an exaggerated way then everyone sees this white square patch.
....




I'm not sure just how shit I am. I can't process all the bad things I do. I can't put them all in the same line of thought. If I do, then it'll prove just how much I need therapy or some medication and then I'll have it used against me.
I don't know whether the way I think is normal. I make peoples lives shit.
Not just my mum, but others. According to my best friend, I'm the biggest player she knows.
.. Girls can't be players though .. Do the boys think this?
Maybe I lead people on accidently by being friendly - which is fucked, cos I'm hated by 99% of my town. The girls anyway.

Well that has nothing to do with what whatever the hell I was talking about.








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I'm a bit confused today and I've just run out of words.. If you got through that and understood, then thanks for the time.