Food just isn't the same for me anymore.
I don't feel like it's the worst thing in the world.. I just feel as though it's there. I don't gorge myself on cakes that I make anymore.. (the birthday cake I made that ended up in my fridge is still there, I've only had one slice - normally that thing would have been devoured a long time ago.. same with the tub of ice-cream in my freezer)
So, I feel as though I'm going to succeed in losing weight. I don't feel the same kind of shit guilt after I eat - which would usually make me eat more. I have no feelings towards food. Honestly, I feel numb to it.. I don't feel like food and when I do feel like food - I can't choose anything because I just don't know what to pick.
Saturday night in the city. Fucking WOAH!
I don't know what to say about it.
Me and my best friend took some pills. Long story short - she went absolutely nuts. She pushed some guy over and got kicked out of the club.. then when I went out after her she chucked a psych and was ranting for about an hour saying she wanted to press charges. Crying and shit. I tried to calm her down, get her to come with me home so we could figure out the story because the police and seccas weren't doing anything about it.. anyway - she ended up punching me in the face, telling me she's hated me for a few months and then blaming me for the whole thing that happened. I stuck by her though to make sure she was safe and whatever else. I apologised countless times for what happened but she just hated me for some reason.
Anyway, it's Monday today and I haven't seen or heard from her since early Sunday morning when I saw her on the train on the way home. I know she's alive and well cos she was on Facebook haha.. but still.
I'm super cut. I don't know what I've done wrong.
I have no girl friends in my town anymore. Not that that's a problem because my boy friends are always great to me. They never do this shit.
I'm waiting for an apology - but I wont get it. I would forgive her immediately but I dunno when I'm gonna get it...
Oh well.
That's my problem.
Haven't eaten since Friday afternoon. Good job, G!
Good job indeed! Food no longer holds any sway with me either. I realised it was just another addiction and quit the habit. I used to eat once a day, for nutritional purposes, but lately I've gone off the deep end and completely lost interest. I just don't fucking care anymore!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry things went west with your chum. You're a good friend for sticking by her. If she has any decency at all, she'll get over herself and make right with you. Wish I had a friend like you here. Have a good day, G.
Hope everything works out with your friend. She sounded completely out of line, and you totally weren't to blame. Hopefully it was just the pills talking? If you still haven't heard from her, maybe she's really embarrassed about what happened.
ReplyDeletexXx
Me again!
ReplyDeletePlease won't you post a full frontal picture... of your tattoo, that is! I must confess, your last pics, where I saw just a bit of it peeping over your shoulder, have me utterly intrigued! Sorry, I'm an artist, these things catch my eye. Thanks, Doll!
Sorry, this is starting to look like a drive-by! Thanks for your comment on my site. Left your reply underneath it. X.
ReplyDelete...And in answer to your question: Yes, people actually do dress up and do reenactments at these things. Most of them work at the Faire so it's their job, but there are actually a lot of freaks who just dress up and act like that for fun.
ReplyDeleteIt bothers me because the stuff they're doing is technically not accurate for the Renaissance, but more for the Middle Ages. I can't help being a history nerd...
You're not being spacey, so don't apologize. ;) I'm originally from Ireland, so I grew up calling her Mum even though I've spent most of my life in the US. Plus I always thought that shouting MMUUUUUUUUUMMMYYYYYYY!!!! has a nicer ring to it than the American alternative. <3
She sounds a little bit crazy. :/
ReplyDeleteI'll be your girl friend! Even though I don't live in your town. But still.. :)
<3