Do I want to be with someone? Or do I just like the sound and look of couples?
I want to feel intensely passionate. I want to have my feelings and emotions just completely overwhelmed by someone.. or even something.
A while ago, I used to have overwhelming feelings.
Radiohead are a good example.
I'd listen to them and I'd feel so completely full by their quality of music that I didn't need anything else.
I know what's causing my bland moods. Weed. I wont give it up though.
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I haven't eaten for the past 2 days.. apart from half a small handful of cashews.
I stood/walked continuously for 14 hours yesterday. Wont see any change though.
I disconnected myself from my body and it worked.. for the past few days anyway.
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Making a chicken soup soon.
It lasts me about a week with the amount I make.
Haven't counted calories - but I can't imagine that there'd be much in it anyway.
It's basically just chicken pulled off drumsticks after a few hours of simmering
5 large chillis
5 small chillis
5 cloves of garlic
Onion
Cabbage
Carrots
Celery
Corriander and tumeric
And it tastes fucking sick!!
I was smelling the bottle of tumeric in the kitchen before. It makes me miss my dad and the month I spent with him and my brothers and sister and big bro's g.f. It was a pretty funkin awesome time. There were 7 of us living in a small camp site.
I'm surprised how much I enjoyed it.
That soup sounds wicked! Amazing how smells can conjure up such nostalgia. It's why I don't bake much anymore. Too many bad memories.
ReplyDeleteI think you need to surround yourself with friends and loved ones right now. You're a deep thinker, Gem ( I live with two) and while it's a good thing, it can also lead you to a very dark and lonely place. Distract that over-active mind and focus on something positive.
I'm thinking of you and I hope you feel better soon. XXX.
"Funkin"--I like that. :D
ReplyDeleteI ask myself the same thing whenever I meet a sort-of-datable guy. I like the IDEA of a relationship more than the actual relationship itself. I suppose if I could spawn my own perfect man (or woman? I'm not picky) and could control the way they acted, spoke, and thought; then I might settle for a relationship.
That soup sounds good. I'll have to try making it next time we have leftover chicken!
xoxoxo
I don´t want to be with someone but I want to feel passion for something, anything....
ReplyDeleteHugss
The soup sounds absolutely delicious!
ReplyDeleteENjoy yourself, babe.
<3