I'm feeling so awful and headachey right now.
I guess that's the result I get from sharing a bong with someone sick.
I hope I'm not actually sick and that this is just a normal headache.
Tonight I'm going to the city with that boy. M.
I saw M the other night and stayed at his place for a bit in the avo before getting home. I think he got a bit bored and irritated when I didn't sleep with him.
The thing with sex is, I just don't like it.. not that I don't like it - but I can't feel it, in a way. I get no pleasure from it. It's just like a task that needs to be done and completed.
I told him that we can have sex whenever he wants - but I'll just be lying there pretty much motionless. I think he was fine with that but said he'd feel like a weirdo. And too right he should feel like a weirdo. I told him the other night about my abortion and that I didn't feel ready to have sex, and probably shouldn't because it was so close to the abortion. But he still went for it.. what?
I'm a whore. Majority of people I've slept with have been this year. That's not good. I'm not even 22 yet (18-19 days until birthday!) and I've slept with 10 people. I think. Is that a wrong number??
Anyway - food was shit last night. I didn't eat at all the day/night before last.. but last night I got baked and ate Maccas and all this other shit. Lots of bread and gross stuff... so I vomited it all up.
My mum said to me today "Is that your vomited up orange in the bath??" ... I forgot to clean up the mess - that shit splatters hard! haha.
She didn't seem to care. She knows I do this.
So, I need some good stories. Hopefully you girls have written some interesting stuff! Which you always do.. cos I need a nice read before I go and squeeze into some awfully too small top/skirt combination for the city tonight. Fuckity fuck fuck.
Eughhh I so did exactly the same!
ReplyDeleteI got baked and ate loads of food and now im regretting it.
You are not a whore! Honestly!
If you don't feel it, it's not your fault.
I hope you're alright :) x.
Hi, thanks for following me.
ReplyDeleteI think 10 is a great number, but obviously you know yourself that your experiences haven't made you any happier. If you're not in love, or at least in lust for the person you're bedding, you're not gonna feel a thing. Guys could fuck a dog and enjoy it. Girls can't. :)))))
Ohmydays, my mum knows I do THAT too and she hates it. It's becoming harder to hide it as well. Happydays.
You are NOT a whore!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm not much of a feminist in general, but it still pisses me off that guys can screw a different girl every hour, but yet if a girl sleeps with like 5 different guys over the course of a few months, she's a whore. It's bullsh*t.
I have a really hard time enjoying sex, too. A lot of it is lack of energy, but most is just me being unable to cope with doing something that I associate with filth and just plain wrongness. Alcohol helps....
I hope you had an awesome time in the city!!! I bet you looked hot in your tight skirt. ;)
xxx
but a girl is a whore if she sleeps with 5 men in a month :/ means shes a little bit loose and doesnt want much
ReplyDeleteI've stopped smoking when I'm alone because all I do it binge and purge...
ReplyDeleteAnd you are NOT a whore.
I know girls who are 18 and slept with that many guys, and girls who are 22 and slept with a different guy every weekend for a YEAR.
So around 50 in their lifetime.
You're still in the non-whore, but sexually active stage at this point.
;-)