Rant For Happiness

I'm back at 59 again. Isn't that just fantastic!

I'm feeling the way I did way back when I'd first lost the weight.

I went to bed last night without eating. I woke up without guilt. I took control of it.

Instead I Moisturised.

Straightened my hair.

Painted my nails.

Picked out todays outfit - which I feel great in!

The same headaches are back though. The same hunger pains. Weird chest feelings. It's nice though. I know this is working when I feel this way. It gives me hope and motivation to keep at it and right now - I have all the motivation in the world. I'm feeling extremely happy and positive. It's weird - especially after yesterday and seeing those two on the bus. I'll mention now, I've been out of school for 2 years now. I work full time in a job that gives me no mental stimulation - and that's probably why I update here twice a day.

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Yesterday wasn't really about the boy - it was more about how this girl thinks she can stand over me. Thinks she has one up on me - and getting onto the bus with this boy would have just made things a whole lot worse. She's just one of those girls who thinks she's better than everyone else. Rough face, bitter small mouth.

I don't care too much for the boy - I just hate the anxiety I get whenever she's around. I just don't know how to lose it. I'm so freaked out by her even though she is just a smug, jealous little thing.