Rant For Happiness

It's a new day.

Let's see how I do.
The plan? well. ummm. I'll watch Barbie's Christmas Carol starring Barbie
yay Barbie.
Looking at her tight plastic body will help me on my quest for unflabby/no-fat times.
Hoorah.

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I was told by (and I'm sorry if this word offends anyone) - I was told by this fatty the other day that if I want to look skinny then I need to tighten myself up. I felt like turning around and yelling at her.. Telling her I was proud of what I achieved and I'm actually exercising my will power for not stuffing my face on chocolate and chips ACTUALLY!!! ... This girl is amazing. She has to be at least over 300 pounds. She has confessed (more like bragged) that she can eat a whole 2 litre tub of ice-cream in an hour. Now really, who does that shiz and actually tells people? I'm pretty sure she laughed about it too.

Now what this has got me wondering about -
Why am I trying to lose weight?
Why can't I be happy with myself the way I am?
Why do I umm and ahhh about every piece of food and whether it should be in my body?

And why do other girls do it too?

Now, I think I do it because I hate the flab. I do it because I feel as though people are staring at that ugly muffin top. Thinking in their heads about how little self-control I have.. and without that self-control.. what am I? If I don't have self-control about all the fatty junk put into my mouth, what will people think of me?? I don't do this for boys. I don't do this so boys like my body (although in bed, it does help when they're not resting their hand on a giant roll made of skin and fat) .. but I have this very narrow-minded thought that all these girls are doing it for the attention of boys.

How many of you girls actually do this for boys?

I'd like to know.

I know I don't need to impress. I don't need a boy. I don't need Robbo. I'm only attracted to him physically.
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Robbo called me last night. Asked whether I was angry at him.. I said "no" .. Why did I say no?

He also asked whether he is considered as my boyfriend.

I also said no.

He asked what he could do to be considered as my boyfriend.

I said - I don't know.

He asked whether doing planned things throughout the week would help..

DOES HE THINK IT'S THAT EASY? Planning some shizz to do throughout the week will make him a good partner? I don't think so. In my book. These things aren't planned. They are just done.