.All my mum does is eat.
.Eat Eat Eat Eat.
.Just shoves food into her mouth cos she's bored.
.Stuffs herself full of fattening, disgusting foods.
.Cigarettes.
.Alcohol.
.She's pretty much killing herself.
She just bought some of those "French Fries" chips.. pulled out a bowl that I'd just cleaned up and put her chips in. I said "You're going to eat the whole packet, why make mess and use a bowl?" .. Cos it's true. She'll eat the whole packet in one sitting.. but she goes and messes things up by using a clean bowl. She never cleans or tidies. Just makes mess. She uses about 10 different knives, spoons and forks a day. I don't understand how. All she does is sit at the computer and shove food into her mouth. I'm so fucking sick of it. It disgusts me. She turns into a robot. Her hand just goes down into the packet and up into her mouth automatically until everything is gone.
Today I'm not letting one morsel of food past my lips.
So far I've had:
2 Coffees - 100
2 No-Doze ?
1 Diet Coke - 1.5
Yesterday was such a disaster. It made me realise just how awful I am.
How disgusting my body is.
Thick.
Dimply.
Pale.
I look like the type of person who obviously doesn't give a fuck what I look like.
I can't stand looking this way.
I can't stand people looking at how awful I am now.
I've totally let myself go.
I'm determined.
No food tonight.
Just -
Cleaning.
Altering.
B - even tho I don't really want to see him.
Washing.
Tidying.
Tv.
Showering.
Diet Coke.
Being happy with my first day of a massive restriction.
Go Gem!
ReplyDeleteYou can do it. I love no doz. It saves my life.
x
Oh man. My mother is the same way, she's constantly eating. It's truely disgusting to watch. The worst part is she's TINY, 110 pounds tops, and yet the way she eats it wouldn't be surprising for her to be obese. Sigh. The nice thing about living with someone who is forever stuffing their face is that it's so repulsive, it'll completely turn you off eating forever. :)
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your restriction stuff, you sound totally determined! :)