Bad Morning.

Hm well I was a Sad Sally yesterday, wasn’t I?
I’m feeling a lot better today – I think I was upset because my mum was in bed when I got home yesterday afternoon and she stayed there until about 11 when I was going to bed. Think she was just tired or something. So yeah, I got lonely, depressed – Jesus hadn’t messaged me since I’d gotten home and I was feeling rejected. Although I don’t understand why I was because I didn’t answer the last message he’d sent me. He’s now going to Soundwave. Not good. Not good at all. There’s a couple of other people going to Soundwave that I’d prefer to hang out with.. Pretty sure DC is going & PPS & a few others that I just can’t quite remember.
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So today is Cake Day at work. We get a bunch of cakes for the office every month and celebrate birthdays. The cake isn’t that nice but I always feel as though I need to have a giant slice. Today though, I’m going to say no. I need to be strict! Very strict if I want to feel okay on Friday. I bought a new top. It’s see through and baggy. It’s nice and it’ll look nice with the jeans I’m wearing with it. The jeans kind of go up around my fat so everything will be good.
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I just can’t deal at the moment. I’m not doing anything with my life. I’m sitting here in a fucking hall way on the computer all day. What for? So I can earn money to buy materialistic piece of shit stuff. It’s all wasted. I’m wasting everything. I just want to scream and cry. I’m tired.
I’m bored. I’m not normal.
What’s going on? I’m so sick of this shit.
I’ve had a cup of coffee and a no doze today – pretty sure I need to pull out another no doze. I’m falling asleep again.
Fucking 10 hour shift today. I’ll be here for ages.
I wont get home for another 8 and a half hours but I’ve already been here for 3. Awake for 5.
I want to cry.
I’m so done.