Rant has made me happppy!

Okay so yesterday and today weren't the greatest.
Let me try and remember.
Yesterday:
One cuppa soup - 110 calories.
Half a slice of pizza (was going to be drinking, didn't want to get sick) - 125 calories.
Quartertohalf packet of chips - bout 100calories.
few bites of rissole. greasy greasy rissole in the extremely early hours of the morning.. - no idea.
soo maybe like 450 calories altogether I'd say.
But then I had quite a few non-diet mixed drinks.
Hmmm.
Yesterday wasn't the worst - but the shiz I ate was bad.
Today I've had:
2 small bowls of chicken soup - I'm gonna say about 300calories for the whole thing.
one chococolate chomp - 130 calories
one small bunch of grapes - 60calories
Soo I'll round it out to about 500calories.
My stomach feels so full. I'm gonna say it's cos of all the liquid in the soup and whatever.
It feels massive.
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My periods only lasted 2 and a half days this month.
Is my weight loss effecting it? maybe. And in a way - I feel good about it.
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I just couldn't get drunk last night. I drank a lot. A lot. Nothing happened.
I just felt sick and sober.
We finished work and went to the park.. relaxed on the grass with a few drinks. Did our makeup haha and talked about weird shiz.
Feeling a bit tipsy we caught the train to Central station. Got the pizza so I didn't get sick.
Walked over to the pub. Was absolutely chock-a-block full.
So we had a drink and talked to a few random people. They had funny names like Yorkin. Went outside for a cig, turned around and Darren from Gerling was standing right there!! .. Gerling is pretty much my favourite Australian band. I've talked to him a couple of times but he's all like "hey haha you're the girl who always asks me to play Billie" . (one of his songs, der) .. was very good. Having a chat and whatever else. The guy from Video Hits was also there (and i'm sure no one would know that unless you're from Australia). So we left the pub and went down the road to the other one we were going to spend the night at.
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That was all written yesterday when I was in a typing mood.
Last night we went out to the Leagues club.
I ended up having a massive insecure moment. Not sure what happened. I'm never like that.
But anyway. I've been talking to this guy (might have mentioned him in an earlier post - jesus?) anyway, he was sitting with my friends while I was getting a drink and he started going on about how he could be with all these FHM models and whatever but instead he chose to come and see me at the club. Now, maybe in some twisted way, he thinks what was said is okay..
but it's not, right?
How am I supposed to feel??
Oh yeah okay, he could be hanging out with those seedy magazine models but he chose to be with me?
He asked why I wasn't talking to him. I told him cos of what he said.
Told me that's not what he said. He actually told my friend that he had an offer to go to Canberra to see some chick that models but he couldn't be fucked so he stayed at Leagues.. Okay, i think he thinks that's actually better than what he said before.. but WTF. So just cos you couldn't be bothered seeing some chick, you'll take me as second best.
I can do better than some stretched-out fucker who is so into his stupid fucking looks.
First week I met him he asked me to take "lingerie pics" .. er. what. As if, fucktard.
Anyway. Had this massive, paranoid skit. Wouldn't let him touch me - I could feel him holding a big, fat chunker muffin top. Didn't want him touching my hands or kissing me.
I just felt disgusting.
I felt horrible around him. As though I'm just some fatty boombah who's only there to help when no one else is around.
I got home and had a giant cry and ate a massive bowl of chicken soup with about 10 tablespoons of salt.
I can do better than that. I don't want to feel disgusting. Robbo never made me feel like that. hmm. Robbo. What to do.
... Maybe it's just the boys in my area?
Going out in the city. All the boys are so lovely. They'll talk to you without thinking that they're gonna be having sex with you later. They tell you you're beautiful and georgous instead of "you're a fucking hot bitch" ... hm, I hate those kind of comments.
Jesus says it. He's so illiterate. All he says is shit like.. "yeah i like ya, ya got big boobs. its a bonus" .. Okay. Fuck you.
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Sorry for the rant. I'm so angry.upset about it all. =)