I'm so excited right now but I have a lump in my chest. I don't know what it is. I need something but I'm not sure yet.
It's 1pm and I haven't eaten yet. I've had two coffees - maybe the caffiene is sending me a bit emotional??
My plans for England changed. I was supposed to catch a coach out to Manchester by myself from London but now my friend is meeting me in London and we'll stay there. Which means I can see my brothers friends out there and Robbo's friends too. Exciting!!
Everything is perfect again. I'm sitting in my room. Gerling is blaring through the stereo. My blinds are open once again and it's a perfect day. It's just my old pup that's missing. It was the 2 year anniversary of his death on the 9th of this month. I miss him so much. He was my darlin boy. =)
I just don't know what to do. I'm so darn excited I can't even think about food. I just feel trapped at the moment. Stuck in limbo. Between something that was good and something better and there's no moving from this spot for a while. I'm just so restricted, like my food.. when you think about it - food must be feeling this all the time when it's around me. Food doesn't have any feelings - why should I have feelings for it?? It doesn't care about me. I shouldn't care about it.!!
Why's everybody complaining about the new Facebook?? There are bigger problems to deal with. Like my weight, our weight. What we're going to wear to cover that disgusting stomach and huge thighs. Maybe we can wear big superhero capes to cover that awful muffin top.
Why do I even care?? Animals are dying in the streets. I should put my energy into that.. which I will someday. I've always wanted to be an animal inspector. Take those bastards down for their cruely and neglect towards animals. Fuck Indonesia and it's fucked zoos. Everyone read up about it. Don't go to Indonesia!! No offence to the chicks on here that are from Indonesia and are nice to animals. I'm trying not to stereotype.
What's going on with me today?? I'm all over the shop. My thoughts are here and then there and I can't stick to the same thing.. I just want to type type type. It feels like I'm on pills or something. I just want to lay in the grass and smile.
54 today. Slight improvement from the past 2 weeks.
Your on a coffee high =) I get those all the time. Drinking enough coffee on an empty stomach usually does that. Its good fun but I always feel like i'm on overdrive. ANYWAY, sounds like your doing great.
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