Rant For Happiness

I just want to eat No-Doze for the rest of my life. I want my hip bones to show. I want the bruises back. Mentioned in another post how they would always get bruises on their hip bones. I had that for a short while. I want the emptiness back. Why do I sabotage myself?
I know what I want and I know exactly how to get it but I am just a lazy, lazy girl.

If I can't even win at cleaning my room - how am I supposed to win the challenge to be empty again?? ...
Maybe I'm meant to be a fatty.
NO - I'm going to clean my room right now. I will keep at it until it's done. Not leaving my room. Fuck, someone good just signed into MSN and now I'll be stuck at the computer. I'm not closing this laptop. I could do both..
C'mon Gemma. Get up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!