I'm gonna jinx myself - I know.
BUT!
Today.. tooddaaayy being Thursday - I've reached the goal of losing 2kg by Friday. Let's hope tomorrow I am still the same but I've been 56kg all day so I'm gonna count it and be a happy chappy.
(wont change my stats to the side yet)
About the last post - I understand there are two sides to bulimia - even 3, 4, 5 sides. There are infinity sides to everything! - so that was just me being a bitch and trying to prove I'm right, which I'm not. I'm just right for my side of Bulimia -
Apologies to anyone offended.
Today I went grocery shopping. I bought:
4 yoghurt tubs - cheesecake and sticky date yoghurt.
They're apparently around 72c each 175g tub - one a day for the cravings.
I've left one in the fridge and three in the freezer - hope that doesn't spoil them.. or maybe I do?
8 bags of choc biscuits - 125c per 30gbag/10 biscuits
These have been put away for absolute emergency. I will not eat them unless I'm dying!!
I really feel like a packet but no, I checked the calories and shoved them away again.
Ham for my wrap.
Yeah, decided on ham for the wrap. It's about 40c.
Wrap bread - 72?
Lettuce - 10
Onion - 10
Ham - 40
Mustard - ?? dunno.
So like, 132 for the whole thing?? .. I dunno - I'm awful at maths. =)
Do I even need the wrap bread? Maybe I should just have some lettuce, ham and onion wrapped up?? haha. Silly Gemma. As if I'm gonna stick to that.
I said to my mum how mindlessly she eats. Just shoves things into her mouth without thinking.
She came back with "Yeah well at least I don't throw up every meal" .. I said "I don't do that" .. all she did was scoff and say "Yeah.. right" - So she obviously knows I'm doing it.
I'm grateful that she doesn't care but why doesn't she care?! .. haha I don't understand how she can be so blank to things. It's amazing - but also very depressing for me.
Shutup mum - I don't even eat full meals.
alternative to wrap bread - big lettuce leaves, generally use two so they dont fall apart while you're eating it haha, but tastes good and leaves your wrap at like 40cals and is just as filling!
ReplyDeletex
That is sort of depressing. And I agree with Sarah about the wrap leaves. Get some big ones (I like the ones with the thick crispy stem at the center so when you bite into it, you get the cold water with the food :3). What works really well, even though it might sound gross, is to throw a little bit of cream cheese on it to keep it held together and take out the dryness of the ham and the rest of the stuff. It has about 10cals if you use just a little bit (also, make sure you get the lowest cal whipped stuff. Easier to use less of, and less calories). I used to make those all the time when i worked at a sandwich shop. Cold, a little sweet, super filling...now I want one XD
ReplyDeleteBut yeah, that's...really sad that she knows and doesn't do anything about it. I mean, it's good, for you, because you get to keep doing what you're doing, but at the same time it's sort of like...what the fuck? If she knows you're doing something self-destructive (or classified as such), shouldn't she at least step in and say "WOOOOAH hold on a minute!" or something?
Parents are odd XD
Hello =)
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what type of mustard you use, but the mustard I use is French's & it's zero calories. I literally eat it with a spoon. When I fast, I craaave salt & it helps SO very much!
I just told my mom about my cutting the other day & even went as far as to SHOW her the 20 cuts on my leg that were STILL bleeding & you know what she said?
"At least it's in a pattern..."
I hear you. I was relieved that she wasn't kicking my ass all the way to a therapists, but at the same time I was thinking like, "Aren't you supposed to give a shit that I'm shredding myself?"
Everyone in my life knows about my eating disorder...the only time they every say a single word is when I get below 100 pounds. I could be throwing up right in front of them, but unless I actually LOOK sick, it's like it's not even happening.
I can't complain, though. I'd be wayyy more upset if they were the opposite.
I hope you enjoy you're wrap & good luck with your mom. Mine is 250 pounds & still gives me diet advice, so I'm right there with you.
hmm thats wierd.
ReplyDeleteyoud think itd be a big deal to her?
maybe she was joking or something
or thinks its a "phase" like a lot of parents do.
well, no matter what, good luck with everything, and that wrap sounds deliciousssss
XOXO Sophia Ruins <3