I’m just absolutely dead. I have zero energy – which is obviously because of lack of food. I just went walking for pretty much 2 hours. One hour for lunch – and one hour hauling 7kg books back and forth from the post office.
Today I’ve had 2 no-doze and one cup of white coffee – I’d estimate my coffee to be about 60calories..
Dinner tonight will be only salad because my mum didn’t want to cook chicken. I could have had chicken nuggets and chips (which I repeatedly told her not to buy, she doesn’t eat them anyway – BUT she bought them) .. I’m not eating those disgusting 100calorie (or around that amount) chicken nuggets. It’s awful.
Why the fug does she buy this stuff?! I don’t understand. I tell her time and time again to not buy that awful junk so I’m not tempted but she still bloody does it!!!! Grrrr.
I hope I’m not this angry when I get home tonight.
I’ll rest on the train and then walk out my left-over energy on the hour home tonight from the station.
Gosh it pisses me off though. I honestly feel like ringing her up right now and screaming at her.. asking her why in the world she bought them. I’m easy on the chips but the nuggets as well. Grrr, she has no idea!!! She’s totally mindless to it all.
Oh well, soon I’ll be over in England and my only intake will be glorious alcohol. Calorie-ridden cidah most likely but STILL!! It’ll leave me feeling empty and hopefully these last few kilos will melt away.
I don’t understand why I’m becoming so enraged over chicken nuggets being bought.
I’m being totally stupid. I don’t have to eat them. I s’pose I’m just angry at how mindless she is. I’ve told her so many times I don’t want chicken nuggets but she still bloody suggests it!!!!
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Okay – I’m going to buy my ticket to Merry Ol’ England for 5th May.. I think!!
But actually, I think I’m flying into Ireland cos that way I don’t need to buy a return ticket. Hmm. What to do/what to do!
I’m getting scared about it. About leaving my mum by herself. About missing Australia.
I love Australia so much. The hot weather. The colours. The scrub. It’s all just fantastic.
I’m lucky I have such beautiful scenery to look at on my way home. I go through mountains and valleys full of gum trees.. over big, beautiful rivers. I’m so lucky to be me.. I take so much for granted and I’m way too caught up in my weight problems that I don’t even see how lucky I’ve got it. How privileged I am.
I really liked your post... My sister came as my family's ambassador this weekend with the side agenda of letting me know they think I need help. I lashed out, they actually think I have anger issues. And I realized I'm railing against them cause they are the ones I think actually care. and I'm not angry, I'm scared. Wish I could get my shit together. Anyways, I don't know if you meant any of that in your post, but that's what I related to. Australia sounds beautiful :)
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