ROCKOSS MODDERRN LIIFFE

I think it's time for an actual post - not just a list of what I ate with a bit of a whinge attached.

I'm not really sure what I should write about, but I know there's a lot bottled up inside.
(((Talking about being bottled up inside - DON'T drink Diet Pub Squash - I was buckling over in pain this afternoon because of all the air it left in me. TMI, I know.. but wow)))

So I know there's something I need to get out but I'm not sure. I'm feeling so emotionless and emotional at the same time. I don't even know how I feel about my weight anymore. I don't think I want to lose any more weight but for some reason, I just can't bare to eat normally.
I ate my usual today.
Cuppa Soup. Chicken Salad. Some Grapes (those last two purged) .. joined by some Extra Sugar Free Drops.
Altogether I'm going to estimate at about 600c.
I can't eat normally. I couldn't swallow the biscuits - and this brings on another bad habit. Chewing and spitting. I chewed up about 4 arrowroot biscuits. 240c altogether. Spat down the drain.
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Today was the first day in about 4 months I haven't gotten a message off Jesus. I'm not really that upset. I guess.. I just don't want him to think he was the one who stopped contact with me. Like he thinks he's better than me cos he hangs around these trashy, skin models. These models aren't even that attractive. They're promotion girls who get attention because of their bodies. They're faces are usually rough and tight. Admitting that they do have very nice bodies - BUT their skin is about as orange as the Blogger "B" logo. It's awful. Maybe I'm just jealous.
No I'm not jealous because I know I'm better than them. Smarter and more pride in myself. The only difference between us is that I can tell Jesus is an illiterate, dumb fuck. (speak of the devil, he just instant messaged me on MSN)
He's spending the night in Coogee tomorrow night.. Apparently the girls out there are done up to the max and full of themselves. He's staying the night at one of these promotional girls houses. I don't care. I really don't.. but it pisses me off because these girls are fuckheads and I can do better than any boy that's dumb enough to like them.
Blah. Full of myself. But! I am full of myself in that way. I deserve someone smart and decent.
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I'm sorry. I have nothing interesting or thought provoking to write about (not that I ever really did) ... Something's up with me lately.
May 1st shall be the day I use my ticket out of Australia.