Rant For Happiness

All I want right now is to take the elevator downstairs to the coffee shop - pick myself up a nice, big, steamy, creamy cup of coffee and a nice roll with cheese and pineapple. Yes, that's all I want. Is this too much to ask?
I don't think so. Any other normal person would. But that breakfast would be up to 600 calories the way I take my coffees and I really just cannot afford (well my body can't) to do that.
There's 4 people in the elevator lobby waiting to go downstairs and get their breakfast.
Quite a strange group.
One of them wears Ray Bans and yellow socks under short trousers. He thinks he's really stylish and stuff - but he so isn't. I swear he's got a rod up his ass.
Another is a french man - his shirts are just way too tight and the material is just way too thin. He's lovely though. Very friendly.
______________________________
I'm wondering why I'm starting to get crushes. I'm getting all these crushes like I'm a little school girl. I barely like someone most of the time - why am I now turning into this emotionally immature girl? I just don't know. I feel as though I've totally lost all feelings for Robbo and I've started forming these silly little feelings for people like Club Boy and D and CH.. D and CH. Hmm. What so say about them?? D is a boy I met. He has a full mouth of teeth and a beard. CH.. well, he's just this boy I've known for a while. I think it's cos he rides a push bike and has a shaved head which attracts me. I know. Strange.

I'm going to save this post and write later. I have things I need to talk about - I just don't know what yet.

....

So guyzz - We had our little morning tea dealy in the meeting today. I ate a quarter of a custard pastry. My golly. So good. AND a quarter of a chocolate croissant.

I'm done until dinner time. Can't believe it. I was supposed to be STRONG. I wasn't hungry. I just had the cravings something chronic.

....

After reading Hana's post - I have this unbelievably huge urge to get back on the weed. I need to discover myself again. To figure out what I'm doing. Who I want to be with. Who I want to be. I don't know. I just feel as though I had more purpose then. More spiritual? .. I could see into myself so much better. Time went faster. I was more excited. I had more motivation to help myself at that moment rather than think about the sucky stuff in the years to come. I didn't care that I had no friends, didn't care that I didn't have anywhere to go on a Friday night because weed was my friend and it was helping me. Hmm we'll see, pig.