Still good.

So I'm still on a massive high from Homebake.
It was just so much fun.
Or maybe it wasn't that fun? Maybe I'm just stoked about seeing that guy from the club? How well it worked out. Having a cuddle while watching a fantastic band? Feeling good with him on the Ferris Wheel? That made me feel awesome. It made me so unbelievably happy to have someone so familiar with me.
I'm just really hoping he comes out next weekend to the club. It would be nice.

New motivation!

Club boy is such a skinny thing - very tall and skiny. My motivation for keeping weight down shall be him.

Someone has nachos in the office. I smell the cheese and salsa. I want it. Really bad. Or Chinese. But NO! .. If Club Boy does come out this weekend, then I'll need to keep whatever it is I have lost OFF so that he doesn't feel even the tiniest bit of flab on my muffin top. I don't want him turned off by me. He's said the most loveliest things to me and infront of his friends which makes me laugh. His friends all seem to know who I am - and it's just so cute that he's talked to them about me. I recognise their faces and say hello but they seem to know everything about me.. and I want Club Boy to keep up with that so I'm going to stay attractive for him and I want him to keep up with whatever it is he has for me.

I forget what I said to him on Saturday. Things are a blur. I hope I didn't come off as too keen. Being too keen seems to make them back off. You know?

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So today - so far I've had two cuppas and 2 No-Doze. These No-Doze seem to not be affecting me as much. Maybe cos I'm just so unbelievably tired from the weekend that whatever is in them just isn't enough to keep me up.

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I just want to go back to Saturday.

To the pills.

The flirting.

The alcohol.

The heat.

The Friends.

The music.

The atmosphere.

The city skyline at late afternoon.

The bats.

The friendly joints being passed around.

Club Boy.

Oh well - not to worry too much. Big Day Out is in January. A bit over a month and I'm there.